What is the etiquette of wedding rsvp?

When you reach a stage of life that all of your friends and family members seem to be getting married and many the times you either feel obligated to attend their wedding or you have already known about the wedding before they send the invitation card.

It always seems easier to attend the wedding rather than rejecting the invitation. Some of the reason why people reject a wedding invitation might be due to the fact that they already have plans on that day, it is destination wedding and you are unable to afford to travel costs or not enough leaves to take. It can also be that the invitation is from an acquaintance or someone else you don’t know well and you might feel awkward to attend the wedding by yourself. In any case, whether you are a guest or wedding host is important to make sure that we are respectful and to have proper etiquette in replying the attendance.


If you cannot make it for the wedding, it is etiquette to reply back as soon as possible that you unable to attend the wedding. Do not drag until the last minutes to reply back to the couple as they might have already ordered your share for the food and reserve a seat in the banquet. It will be a nice gesture to send a note or text back saying why you are unable to make it as a courtesy and also congratulating them on their new phase in life and wishing them well. Many of the times, if we do not reply immediately we tend to forget about replying the invitation, as we are always so busy with our lives. However, not replying will cause problems for bride and groom as they would need to track the guests one by one as they would need to give their final number to the caterer.


Sometimes, people replied saying they are able to make it without checking their schedule if they are available that on the day of the wedding. In turn out that on an actual day, they are unable to make it for the wedding and some of them did not even tell the bride and groom that they cannot make it. The couple would be expecting their attendance and they would have reserved a seat for him or her. It will be wasting money for them, as nobody will be eating the food that they have ordered. It is a form of respect to informing them with an apology even though it was it is a super last minute decision that you have something on.


If you have already informed the couple that you are unable to make it on the big day, do not surprise the couple by appearing on that day itself. It will give them a heart attack about it as they have already allocated the seats for the guest and food so it might not be very nice to just appear on that day and assume they will have an extra spot for you. If you have a sudden change of plan and you are able to make, you can try to call the bride/groom and ensure if it is all right to change RSVP.

Bringing more guest

When you receive an invitation card and is address to both you and your partner. This shows that they are inviting both of you for the wedding but however if the invitation card is solely addressed to you only. It does not indicate if you could bring your significant other, do not just bring your significant other along without asking them as it will mess up the guest list. As there is always a reason why they did not invite plus one as maybe due to budget or venue constraint so it is important to understand where they are coming from.

In general, both the bride and groom and guests are responsible for showing some form of etiquette. As the bride and groom job is to ensure they have provided all the necessary information for the guest. As for the guest, the job is to make sure you reply RSVP promptly so that the bride and groom do not need to call to check and update the guest list number.