Writing your wedding vows is never an easy feat, much less when you have to announce it in front of all your friends and family. If you were nervous about presentation during high school, imagine presenting at your wedding ceremony! Furthermore, apart from public speaking skills, the content of the vows is equally crucial as well.
As such, we hope that our steps here can help you ‘slay’ your wedding vows and make it a memorable one.
#1 DOUBLE CHECK WITH YOUR OFFICIANT
Prior to writing your vows, we believe it is crucial to do a quick check with your officiant on what can be written based on your religion rules. This is because some houses of worship are stricter and would require the couple to use the traditional vows. However, in modern times, religion rules are much more relax and therefore allow couples to write their own vows. You can also seek advice from your officiant on the structure of your vows and if there are any key phrases you are required to put in. In addition, many officiants would request to review your vows before the ceremony. As such, to avoid any last minute scares and changes, we would recommend to submit them much earlier.
#2 MAKE SURE YOU BOTH ARE ON THE SAME PAGE
As a couple, decide on whether you would be writing your vows together or separately. If you both have agreed on writing separately, then double confirm if you would be showing each other the vows before the ceremony or if it is going to be a surprise. If it is going to be a surprise, we would recommend the couple to establish a structure before writing, so that the both vows would be aligned. With a structure in place, it will also act as a guide on the word limit as the couple has limited time to say their vows.
#3 GETTING THE RIGHT CONTENT
There are many different ways to bring out the content you want to pen down. It can be as simple as looking on the web for inspirations, getting quotes from books or even reflecting back on your relationship. So whip out your pens and notebooks, and start jotting down what you want to say in bullet points. Here are a few questions you can ponder upon.
What is special about your partner and what does he/she mean to you?
How did you two meet, and how is your relationship like as a whole now?
How did this partner made you strive to be a better person each day? And for your worst moments, how did he accompany you through it?
What are your promises to your partner, and what will you stand by as a couple?
What do you strive to do in the future as a wife/ husband, and what do you envision the future with him/ her to be like?
You can also go about your day and notice the little nice things your partner has been doing for you, and note that down. Whatever that strikes a chord with you, pen it down so that you can use it in your vows.
#4 IT IS CRUCIAL TO PROOF READ YOUR VOWS
After piecing up your vow’s content, proof reading helps to ensure that your entire piece is cohesive and free of grammar mistakes. Proof reading will allow you to refine the words, remove any unnecessary parts and look at the overall tonality of it. The tone of your wedding vows is based on your preferences and public speaking skills. As such, you can opt for a light hearted humour style if you are not afraid of speaking in public, or you can opt for a more romantic and poetic vow if you prefer to keep it sweet and personal. It is important to remember to keep your vows straight to the point as you only have 1 to 2 minutes.
We would also advise against inserting any overly embarrassing/ humiliating, too cryptic messages or cringey nicknames into the vows. This is because the vow ceremony is a sacred and serious tradition that unites the couple, and many of your friends and family will be witnesses to your vows. Even though this is your wedding, it is good to consider your guests’ feelings, and remove any parts that would make them feel overly uncomfortable.
#5 PRACTICE IS KEY
Practice makes perfect. You do not have to memorise your vows, but you have to practice your speech and eye contact. In regards to the speech, watch out for any phrases that are like tongue twisters or words that you might not be familiar with pronouncing. Eye contact with your partner shows that you are addressing your vows to them, and it can also be clearly captured on your wedding videography or photography. Hence, it is crucial to practice and keep improving as you go along. Moreover, the more you practice, the easier the vows will be retained in your head. Therefore, making your presentation a smooth one. Do also practice and keep note of the time limit you have.