Many people have a bad impression of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law as the media always portray a misconception. To add on people will tell you stories about their in-laws which makes you feel like you can never have a good relationship with your in-laws. However, there are some who do have an intimate relationship together. The reason why the dynamic of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is harder to form is that there is a competitive aspect in it whereby both the in-laws and daughter-in-law have the ability to influence the husband/son.
1) Family culture
Getting married is not just two-person madly in love but it also involves both sides of the family. It is important to understand the new family culture and this will require time and effort as each family culture has different values and habits about certain things. If both parties have different habits, this results in a hidden expectation which might trigger it. In the early stages of building up this relationship, it is bound to have miscommunication and misunderstanding in certain situations.
It can be difficult at the start of this relationship because both sides of the family do not know each other well enough. Try to give yourself some time to adapt to it and be willing to put in the effort to build a good relationship with each one of them.
2) Don’t take it personally
When building the relationship, it takes time and effort to grow. Sometimes people say things out of anger and do not mean it personally. If you are a person who takes things very personally when someone makes a remark, this may sour the relationship. Most of the time when we are not happy, we will tell our partner about what we truly feel and this will make he or she feel like she in between both parties. Moreover, both side is his or her family member hence, it is crucial not to ask them to take a side during the argument. Most parents would want to feel they are still part of you even after you get married and all parents will still treat their children as though they are still a young kid.
It is important to make the effort to spend time with your new family and to love them. The love has to come from your heart, as it will be sincere.
3) Be respectful to in-laws
One of the best ways for in-laws to start liking you back is to make them feel like you respect them. This can be achieved by asking them for their advice or options about things. After you have sought the advice and try it out, let them know how it has helped you and that you appreciate your in-law’s help. If an argument breaks off, it is important not to lose your temper. Remember to put yourself in his or her shoes as each individual previous experiences are different. Have a conversation asking your in-laws to share what they have experienced and also share what it is like now. This can help to prevent unnecessary misunderstandings and see the light about each other point of view.
As a newlywed couple starting their new family, it is important to be respectful to their family and also creating a very own family culture. Creating your own requires time and communication between your partner and family members. This helps you to have a better relationship with your new family members so that there will be less misunderstanding.
The best way to deal with your in-laws is to be genuine in showing your appreciation and spending time with them to get to know them better in a personal level. With good communication, it can help you to build and strengthen your relationship with your family members. As argument can happen, it is always important to still be respectful to your in-laws as they are your partner's parents and as a couple to solve the problem that the family is facing as a whole.